OLD JOE
NAME ORIGIN: The song "Promises of Eternity."
PRONOUNS: he/him
AGE: 50s
BIO: A bartender. Owner of the joint. Claudia’s partner in life and business.
SIGNATURE DRINK: Bud. Miller High Life if he's feeling fancy.
LIKES: Listening to the jukebox as he opens the bar. Crushing beer cans with his foot. The way that Claudia and him perform a sort of choreographed dance behind the bar every night, slipping in and out of each other's vicinities like planets orbiting one another.
DISLIKES: Patrons who puke, piss, or don't tip. That sad look in Claudia's eyes when they realize they can't help someone. Having to be graceful.
FEATURED SONGS: "The Book of Love," "Epitaph for My Heart," "Blue You," "Parades Go By"
GROUP SONGS: "The Sun Goes Down and the World Goes Dancing," "Promises of Eternity," "Punk Love," "Nothing Matters When We're Dancing"
PRONOUNS: he/him
AGE: 50s
BIO: A bartender. Owner of the joint. Claudia’s partner in life and business.
SIGNATURE DRINK: Bud. Miller High Life if he's feeling fancy.
LIKES: Listening to the jukebox as he opens the bar. Crushing beer cans with his foot. The way that Claudia and him perform a sort of choreographed dance behind the bar every night, slipping in and out of each other's vicinities like planets orbiting one another.
DISLIKES: Patrons who puke, piss, or don't tip. That sad look in Claudia's eyes when they realize they can't help someone. Having to be graceful.
FEATURED SONGS: "The Book of Love," "Epitaph for My Heart," "Blue You," "Parades Go By"
GROUP SONGS: "The Sun Goes Down and the World Goes Dancing," "Promises of Eternity," "Punk Love," "Nothing Matters When We're Dancing"
"Budweiser," art by Koedy Baxter, 2021.
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"Hands of a Working Man," Photo by Bob Witowski, 2009.
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CLAUDIA
NAME ORIGIN: Band member Claudia Gonson.
PRONOUNS: they/them
AGE: 50s
BIO: A bartender. Genderfluid. Old Joe's partner in life and business.
SIGNATURE DRINK: Doesn't drink much, maybe a glass of wine.
LIKES: When Old Joe holds the book when they read in bed together. Chatting with customers. Watching Old Joe work.
DISLIKES: Not being able to help someone. Having to be harsh. Attempting to organize the bar's finances.
FEAUTURED SONGS: "The Book of Love," "When My Boy Walks Down the Street," "Parades Go By,"
GROUP SONGS: "Blue You," "The Sun Goes Down and the World Goes Dancing," "Promises of Eternity," "No One Will Ever Love You," "Punk Love," "Nothing Matters When We're Dancing"
PRONOUNS: they/them
AGE: 50s
BIO: A bartender. Genderfluid. Old Joe's partner in life and business.
SIGNATURE DRINK: Doesn't drink much, maybe a glass of wine.
LIKES: When Old Joe holds the book when they read in bed together. Chatting with customers. Watching Old Joe work.
DISLIKES: Not being able to help someone. Having to be harsh. Attempting to organize the bar's finances.
FEAUTURED SONGS: "The Book of Love," "When My Boy Walks Down the Street," "Parades Go By,"
GROUP SONGS: "Blue You," "The Sun Goes Down and the World Goes Dancing," "Promises of Eternity," "No One Will Ever Love You," "Punk Love," "Nothing Matters When We're Dancing"
"The Bartender," art by Jamie Lightfoot Eppenauer, 2018.
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Photo by Alfred Rasho, 2010.
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DUDLEY
NAME ORIGIN: Magnetic Fields collaborator Dudley Klute.
PRONOUNS: they/them
AGE: 30s
BIO: A bar regular. Gay. Nonbinary. A bit of a mess.
SIGNATURE DRINK: Gin & Tonic.
LIKES: Putting people on pedestals. Being the first one to text. Drinking.
DISLIKES: Being single. Their own apartment. Being called an alcoholic.
FEATURED SONGS: "Reno Dakota," "Epitaph for My Heart," "Love Is Like a Bottle of Gin," "Love Is Like Jazz," "My Sentimental Melody," "Meaningless"
GROUP SONGS: "Blue You," "The Sun Goes Down and the World Goes Dancing," "Promises of Eternity," "No One Will Ever Love You," "Parades Go By," "Punk Love," "Nothing Matters When We're Dancing"
PRONOUNS: they/them
AGE: 30s
BIO: A bar regular. Gay. Nonbinary. A bit of a mess.
SIGNATURE DRINK: Gin & Tonic.
LIKES: Putting people on pedestals. Being the first one to text. Drinking.
DISLIKES: Being single. Their own apartment. Being called an alcoholic.
FEATURED SONGS: "Reno Dakota," "Epitaph for My Heart," "Love Is Like a Bottle of Gin," "Love Is Like Jazz," "My Sentimental Melody," "Meaningless"
GROUP SONGS: "Blue You," "The Sun Goes Down and the World Goes Dancing," "Promises of Eternity," "No One Will Ever Love You," "Parades Go By," "Punk Love," "Nothing Matters When We're Dancing"
Art by Stephanie Deangelis, 2019.
"Laws of Silence," photograph by Jennifer McClure, 2016.
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"Portrait of Angel Fernández de Soto," painting by Pablo Picasso, 1903.
Art by Celeste Mountjoy, a.k.a. Filthyratbag, 2020.
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SHIRLEY
NAME ORIGIN: Band member Shirley Simms.
PRONOUNS: she/her
AGE: 20s
BIO: A bar regular. Trans. Dating Levi. A splendid butterfly.
SIGNATURE DRINK: Tequila shots. Straight up.
LIKES: Adventures. Art. Getting Levi to do things out of his comfort zone.
DISLIKES: Rude customers. Feeling tied down. Empty tequila bottles.
FEATURED SONGS: "Time Enough for Rocking When We're Old," "Let's Pretend We're Bunny Rabbits," "You're My Only Home"
GROUP SONGS: "Blue You," "The Sun Goes Down and the World Goes Dancing," "Promises of Eternity," "No One Will Ever Love You," "Parades Go By"
PRONOUNS: she/her
AGE: 20s
BIO: A bar regular. Trans. Dating Levi. A splendid butterfly.
SIGNATURE DRINK: Tequila shots. Straight up.
LIKES: Adventures. Art. Getting Levi to do things out of his comfort zone.
DISLIKES: Rude customers. Feeling tied down. Empty tequila bottles.
FEATURED SONGS: "Time Enough for Rocking When We're Old," "Let's Pretend We're Bunny Rabbits," "You're My Only Home"
GROUP SONGS: "Blue You," "The Sun Goes Down and the World Goes Dancing," "Promises of Eternity," "No One Will Ever Love You," "Parades Go By"
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PENNY
NAME ORIGIN: Just for fun.
PRONOUNS: she/her
AGE: 20s
BIO: A bar regular. In the middle of a divorce. One sleepy bitch.
SIGNATURE DRINK: Martinis. Dirty.
LIKES: Nostalgia. Naps. Car rides.
DISLIKES: Getting told the harsh truth. The sun. Over-thinking where things went wrong in her marriage.
FEATURED SONGS: "I Don't Believe in the Sun," "Blue You," "Come Back from San Francisco," "How Fucking Romantic," "Long-Forgotten Fairytale,""The Things We Did and Didn't Do" "Busby Berkeley Dreams"
GROUP SONGS: "The Sun Goes Down and the World Goes Dancing," "Promises of Eternity,"
PRONOUNS: she/her
AGE: 20s
BIO: A bar regular. In the middle of a divorce. One sleepy bitch.
SIGNATURE DRINK: Martinis. Dirty.
LIKES: Nostalgia. Naps. Car rides.
DISLIKES: Getting told the harsh truth. The sun. Over-thinking where things went wrong in her marriage.
FEATURED SONGS: "I Don't Believe in the Sun," "Blue You," "Come Back from San Francisco," "How Fucking Romantic," "Long-Forgotten Fairytale,"
GROUP SONGS: "The Sun Goes Down and the World Goes Dancing," "Promises of Eternity,"
Art by Ruth Mora, 2021.
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Art by Celeste Mountjoy, a.k.a Filthyratbag.
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Content Warning: Use of homophobic slurs and strong language.
SAM
NAME ORIGIN: Band member Sam Davol.
PRONOUNS: she/her
AGE: 30s
BIO: A barback at Old Joe's. A nihilist at heart. Lesbian.
SIGNATURE DRINK: A shot of whiskey and a beer
LIKES: Sleeping in. Never calling people back. Being alone.
DISLIKES: Clingy people. Getting scheduled for the early shift. Being alone.
FEATURED SONGS: "Epitaph for My Heart," "Underwear," "No One Will Ever Love You," "I Shatter"
GROUP SONGS: "Blue You," "The Sun Goes Down and the World Goes Dancing," "Promises of Eternity," "Parades Go By," "Punk Love," "Nothing Matters When We're Dancing"
PRONOUNS: she/her
AGE: 30s
BIO: A barback at Old Joe's. A nihilist at heart. Lesbian.
SIGNATURE DRINK: A shot of whiskey and a beer
LIKES: Sleeping in. Never calling people back. Being alone.
DISLIKES: Clingy people. Getting scheduled for the early shift. Being alone.
FEATURED SONGS: "Epitaph for My Heart," "Underwear," "No One Will Ever Love You," "I Shatter"
GROUP SONGS: "Blue You," "The Sun Goes Down and the World Goes Dancing," "Promises of Eternity," "Parades Go By," "Punk Love," "Nothing Matters When We're Dancing"
'Dyke,' photo by Catherine Opie, 1993.
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"Cunt Cheerleaders," Students of the Feminist Art Program, Fresno State College, 1971.
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LEVI
NAME ORIGIN: If I had a nickel for every trans guy I met with this name... I'd have some nickels, that's for sure.
PRONOUNS: he/him
AGE: 20s
BIO: Shirley's boyfriend. Trans. Skittish but sincere.
SIGNATURE DRINK: Whatever's offered to him.
LIKES: Complaining. The way Shirley can win over absolutely anyone with her dazzling personality. Binge-watching TV shows.
DISLIKES: Being in a room with people he doesn't know. Picking out an outfit. People feeling sorry for him.
FEATURED SONGS: "Blue You," "Let's Pretend We're Bunny Rabbits," "All My Little Words"
GROUP SONGS: "The Sun Goes Down and the World Goes Dancing," "Promises of Eternity," "Parades Go By"
PRONOUNS: he/him
AGE: 20s
BIO: Shirley's boyfriend. Trans. Skittish but sincere.
SIGNATURE DRINK: Whatever's offered to him.
LIKES: Complaining. The way Shirley can win over absolutely anyone with her dazzling personality. Binge-watching TV shows.
DISLIKES: Being in a room with people he doesn't know. Picking out an outfit. People feeling sorry for him.
FEATURED SONGS: "Blue You," "Let's Pretend We're Bunny Rabbits," "All My Little Words"
GROUP SONGS: "The Sun Goes Down and the World Goes Dancing," "Promises of Eternity," "Parades Go By"
'Original Plumbing,' magazine by Amos Mac, 2018.
Art by Bjenny Montero.
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BRYCE
NAME ORIGIN: I knew a guy who dated several men with the same/similar name as him and thought it was funny lol.
PRONOUNS: he/him
AGE: 16
BIO: A cool theatre kid and wannabe influencer.
SIGNATURE DRINK: Pretends it's good vodka, but really just likes rum & cokes.
LIKES: Attention. Hitting a new follower count. Stargazing.
DISLIKES: Being ignored. Rejection. Shitty wifi.
FEATURED SONGS: "Two Kinds of People," "I Can't Touch You Anymore,""I Don't Want to Get Over You," "Bitter Tears"
GROUP SONGS: "The Sun Goes Down and the World Goes Dancing," "Promises of Eternity," "No One Will Ever Love You," "Parades Go By," "Punk Love," "Nothing Matters When We're Dancing"
PRONOUNS: he/him
AGE: 16
BIO: A cool theatre kid and wannabe influencer.
SIGNATURE DRINK: Pretends it's good vodka, but really just likes rum & cokes.
LIKES: Attention. Hitting a new follower count. Stargazing.
DISLIKES: Being ignored. Rejection. Shitty wifi.
FEATURED SONGS: "Two Kinds of People," "I Can't Touch You Anymore,"
GROUP SONGS: "The Sun Goes Down and the World Goes Dancing," "Promises of Eternity," "No One Will Ever Love You," "Parades Go By," "Punk Love," "Nothing Matters When We're Dancing"
Art by St. Francis Elevator Ride, 2017.
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BRYSON
NAME ORIGIN: I knew a guy who dated several men with the same/similar name as him and thought it was funny lol.
PRONOUNS: he/they
AGE: 17
BIO: Emo musician. Gender questioning.
SIGNATURE DRINK: Vodka Red Bull.
LIKES: Crying. Punk music. Vandalism.
DISLIKES: Expressing fondness. Belittlement. Immaturity.
FEATURED SONGS: "Absolutely Cuckoo," "Two Kinds of People," "I Think I Need a New Heart," "I Don't Want to Get Over You," "Bitter Tears," "(Crazy for You But) Not That Crazy"
GROUP SONGS: "The Sun Goes Down and the World Goes Dancing," "Promises of Eternity," "Parades Go By," "Punk Love," "Nothing Matters When We're Dancing"
PRONOUNS: he/they
AGE: 17
BIO: Emo musician. Gender questioning.
SIGNATURE DRINK: Vodka Red Bull.
LIKES: Crying. Punk music. Vandalism.
DISLIKES: Expressing fondness. Belittlement. Immaturity.
FEATURED SONGS: "Absolutely Cuckoo," "Two Kinds of People," "I Think I Need a New Heart," "I Don't Want to Get Over You," "Bitter Tears," "(Crazy for You But) Not That Crazy"
GROUP SONGS: "The Sun Goes Down and the World Goes Dancing," "Promises of Eternity," "Parades Go By," "Punk Love," "Nothing Matters When We're Dancing"
Art by Ruth Mora, 2021.
Art by Celeste Mountjoy, a.k.a. Filthyratbag, 2020.
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Art by Fred Stonehouse.
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MIKE
NAME ORIGIN: The song "Papa Was a Rodeo."
PRONOUNS: they/he
AGE: 50s
BIO: A longtime friend of Old Joe's and Beau's partner. Has a rather twisted point of view.
SIGNATURE DRINK: A nice chardonnay.
LIKES: Being in control. Winning. Cheesy jokes.
DISLIKES: His biological family. Being vulnerable. Incompetence.
FEATURED SONGS: "World Love," "Sweet-Lovin' Man," "Papa Was a Rodeo," "How to Say Goodbye"
GROUP SONGS: "The Sun Goes Down and the World Goes Dancing," "Promises of Eternity," "No One Will Ever Love You," "Parades Go By," "Punk Love,""Nothing Matters When We're Dancing"
PRONOUNS: they/he
AGE: 50s
BIO: A longtime friend of Old Joe's and Beau's partner. Has a rather twisted point of view.
SIGNATURE DRINK: A nice chardonnay.
LIKES: Being in control. Winning. Cheesy jokes.
DISLIKES: His biological family. Being vulnerable. Incompetence.
FEATURED SONGS: "World Love," "Sweet-Lovin' Man," "Papa Was a Rodeo," "How to Say Goodbye"
GROUP SONGS: "The Sun Goes Down and the World Goes Dancing," "Promises of Eternity," "No One Will Ever Love You," "Parades Go By," "Punk Love,"
Gay Activists Alliance protest at Christopher's End bar, Photo by Diana Davies, 1971.
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Nancy Sinatra on the set of 'The Wild Angels,' a 1966 outlaw biker film in which she plays opposite Peter Fonda as his girlfriend "Mike." Sinatra's character inspired Stephin Merritt when writing the character of Mike for the song "Papa Was a Rodeo."
Art by stacks, "Gone Cruising," 2021.
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BEAU
NAME ORIGIN: Just for fun.
PRONOUNS: he/him
AGE: 50s
BIO: A gay trucker turned cowboy. Could play guitar and rope a steer before he learned to stand. Mike's long-term partner.
SIGNATURE DRINK: Shitty beer (preferably Pabst).
LIKES: Being in control. Introducing Mike to people. Greasy food.
DISLIKES: Feeling small. Clichés. Staying in one spot for a long time.
FEATURED SONGS: "World Love," "Sweet-Lovin' Man," "How Fucking Romantic," "Grand Canyon," "Papa Was a Rodeo"
GROUP SONGS: "The Sun Goes Down and the World Goes Dancing," "Promises of Eternity," "Parades Go By," "Punk Love," "Nothing Matters When We're Dancing"
PRONOUNS: he/him
AGE: 50s
BIO: A gay trucker turned cowboy. Could play guitar and rope a steer before he learned to stand. Mike's long-term partner.
SIGNATURE DRINK: Shitty beer (preferably Pabst).
LIKES: Being in control. Introducing Mike to people. Greasy food.
DISLIKES: Feeling small. Clichés. Staying in one spot for a long time.
FEATURED SONGS: "World Love," "Sweet-Lovin' Man," "How Fucking Romantic," "Grand Canyon," "Papa Was a Rodeo"
GROUP SONGS: "The Sun Goes Down and the World Goes Dancing," "Promises of Eternity," "Parades Go By," "Punk Love," "Nothing Matters When We're Dancing"
'National Anthem,' photo by Luke Gilford, 2020.
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Photo by Peter Hujar, Jay and Fernando [Two Men in Leather Kissing], 1966.
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THE COWBOY THROUPLE (JOHN, OSIE, & UNCLE)
NAME ORIGIN: John after the band member John Woo; Osie after Izadorius' sibling's cat; and Uncle after Magnetic Fields collaborator LD Beghtol, lovingly nicknamed "Uncle LD."
PRONOUNS: any
AGE: 30s
BIO: Queer cowboys. In a throuple together.
SIGNATURE DRINK: Beer. But the occasional cocksucking cowboy ;)
LIKES: Playing with the gators when Mike and Beau aren't watching. Inside jokes. Banjo music.
DISLIKES: Being othered. Getting caught in the middle of things. Thinking about what their lives would be like if they hadn't found each other.
FEATURED SONGS: "World Love," "A Chicken With Its Head Cut Off," "Kiss Me Like You Mean It," "Underwear," "Acoustic Guitar" (Osie)
GROUP SONGS: "The Sun Goes Down and the World Goes Dancing," "Promises of Eternity," "No One Will Ever Love You," "All My Little Words," "When My Boy Walks Down the Street," "Parades Go By," "Punk Love," "Nothing Matters When We're Dancing"
PRONOUNS: any
AGE: 30s
BIO: Queer cowboys. In a throuple together.
SIGNATURE DRINK: Beer. But the occasional cocksucking cowboy ;)
LIKES: Playing with the gators when Mike and Beau aren't watching. Inside jokes. Banjo music.
DISLIKES: Being othered. Getting caught in the middle of things. Thinking about what their lives would be like if they hadn't found each other.
FEATURED SONGS: "World Love," "A Chicken With Its Head Cut Off," "Kiss Me Like You Mean It," "Underwear," "Acoustic Guitar" (Osie)
GROUP SONGS: "The Sun Goes Down and the World Goes Dancing," "Promises of Eternity," "No One Will Ever Love You," "All My Little Words," "When My Boy Walks Down the Street," "Parades Go By," "Punk Love," "Nothing Matters When We're Dancing"
'National Anthem,' photo by Luke Gilford, 2020.
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'Polyamory,' art by David Meding, 2018.
'National Anthem,' photo by Luke Gilford, 2020.
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KACEY
NAME ORIGIN: Just for fun.
PRONOUNS: she/they
AGE: 30s
BIO: A mover of boxes (a.k.a. works for a liquor distributor). Lesbian. Hopeful!
SIGNATURE DRINK: Bloody Mary.
LIKES: Making people smile. Consistency. Laying it all out on the table.
DISLIKES: Hot weather. Asshole drivers. Being underestimated.
FEATURED SONGS: "I'm Sorry I Love You," "I Shatter"
GROUP SONGS: "The Sun Goes Down and the World Goes Dancing," "Promises of Eternity," "Parades Go By," "Punk Love," "Nothing Matters When We're Dancing"
PRONOUNS: she/they
AGE: 30s
BIO: A mover of boxes (a.k.a. works for a liquor distributor). Lesbian. Hopeful!
SIGNATURE DRINK: Bloody Mary.
LIKES: Making people smile. Consistency. Laying it all out on the table.
DISLIKES: Hot weather. Asshole drivers. Being underestimated.
FEATURED SONGS: "I'm Sorry I Love You," "I Shatter"
GROUP SONGS: "The Sun Goes Down and the World Goes Dancing," "Promises of Eternity," "Parades Go By," "Punk Love," "Nothing Matters When We're Dancing"
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Art by Maggie Spears, 2019.
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IRMA
NAME ORIGIN: The song "Irma" off of the Magnetic Fields' 2004 album i.
PRONOUNS: he/she
AGE: 30s
BIO: A drag newbie. A little odd but full of energy.
SIGNATURE DRINK: Shirley Temples (she's been sober for six years).
LIKES: Weird shit. The way Penny says good-night. Applause.
DISLIKES: Her shitty car. When she forgets to unplug her hot-glue gun and it explodes. Feeling like a second choice.
FEATURED SONGS: "For We Are the King of the Boudoir," "Long-Forgotten Fairytale," "The Luckiest Guy on the Lower East Side," "The Way You Say Good-Night," "Busby Berkeley Dreams," "Meaningless"
GROUP SONGS: "No One Will Ever Love You," "Parades Go By," "Punk Love," "Nothing Matters When We're Dancing"
PRONOUNS: he/she
AGE: 30s
BIO: A drag newbie. A little odd but full of energy.
SIGNATURE DRINK: Shirley Temples (she's been sober for six years).
LIKES: Weird shit. The way Penny says good-night. Applause.
DISLIKES: Her shitty car. When she forgets to unplug her hot-glue gun and it explodes. Feeling like a second choice.
FEATURED SONGS: "For We Are the King of the Boudoir," "Long-Forgotten Fairytale," "The Luckiest Guy on the Lower East Side," "The Way You Say Good-Night," "Busby Berkeley Dreams," "Meaningless"
GROUP SONGS: "No One Will Ever Love You," "Parades Go By," "Punk Love," "Nothing Matters When We're Dancing"
Photo by Joseph Wolfgang Ohlert, 2015.
Photo by Elyssa Goodman, 2021.
Squirrel Hill, Pittsburgh, 2021.
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Art by Simon Hanselmann, 2017.
Photo by Joseph Wolfgang Ohlert, 2015.
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BERNADETTE "BIRDIE"
NAME ORIGIN: Just for fun.
PRONOUNS: they/them
AGE: 20s
BIO: Penny's estranged ex-spouse. San Francisco resident.
SIGNATURE DRINK: A glass of red. But good wine, not that box shit.
LIKES: Feeling successful in their career. Dinner parties. Hills.
DISLIKES: New York public transit. The way Penny never understood what they do for a living. People who smoke.
FEATURED SONGS: "Asleep and Dreaming," "The Things We Did and Didn't Do"
GROUP SONGS: "Promises of Eternity"
PRONOUNS: they/them
AGE: 20s
BIO: Penny's estranged ex-spouse. San Francisco resident.
SIGNATURE DRINK: A glass of red. But good wine, not that box shit.
LIKES: Feeling successful in their career. Dinner parties. Hills.
DISLIKES: New York public transit. The way Penny never understood what they do for a living. People who smoke.
FEATURED SONGS: "Asleep and Dreaming," "The Things We Did and Didn't Do"
GROUP SONGS: "Promises of Eternity"
'Towards the Shadow,' Art by Juan Muñoz, 2008.
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Photo by Putt Sakdhnagool, 2012.
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